"We think too much and feel too little: More than machinery we need humanity; More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.
You are not machines. You are not cattle. You are men. You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don’t hate – only the unloved hate. Only the unloved and the unnatural.
In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written ” the kingdom of God is within man ” – not one man, nor a group of men – but in all men – in you, the people.
You the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. "
The scene (starting at 1:23) gave me chills...it's so sad because it's true.
You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now, my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, you will play golf, and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, "Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller.
I'm surprised the Native Americans haven't risen up to seek vengeance for grievances unpaid for.
Oh and Christina Ricci was amazing in this film and in "Black Snake Moan."
"So, fear is your friend. Fear is an indicator. Sometimes, it shows what you shouldn't do, more often than not, it shows you exactly what you should do. And the best results that I've had in life, the most enjoyable times, have all been from asking a simple question: 'What's the worst that could happen?' Especially, with fears that you gained when you were a child.
Take the analytical frameworks, the capabilities that you have, apply them to old fears, apply them to very big dreams.
When I think of what I fear now, it's very simple: when I imagine what my life would have been like without the educational opportunities I have had. It makes me wonder."
I'm gonna live my life, I'm not gonna make a difference, I'm not gonna change a thing. No one's gonna remember me when I'm dead. I'm a sailor, and a whore, and I will be until the end of the world.
I'm halfway through "Head On" (1998), an indie Australian film about a gay Greek 19 year old, who is searching for meaning in a racist, homophobic society that rejects his culture and his lifestyle. He seeks escape from this harsh reality by indulging in a seedy underworld of sex, drugs, gambling, and other ephemeral means to chase a high.
It's also the first film, I've seen that's delved into Greek culture so unabashedly and uncensored. I loved the scene where the father tenderly dances with his son to a traditional Greek song and presses his forehead on his son's. This tender moment is rare amidst all the yelling and fighting between father and son. Ana Kokkinos did a great job in blending the cultural as well as sexual struggle that Ari deals with growing up in an unwelcoming Australia.
After Ari tries to but finds sex with a female unappealing. The girl calls him a "poufter" at first but then settles down and says, "I'm glad you don't act like a faggot, Ari" to which he replies: "I'm a man...I don't take it up the ass." She snorts, "Of course you do, you're Greek. They all take it up the ass. [...] Fucking life! I hate this fucking life! I fucking hate it..."
At a bar, an intellectual girl states, "That's what wrong about this country. Everyone hates everyone. The skips hate the wogs. The wogs hate the Asians. And everyone hates the blacks."
(If you're from the states and aren't familiar with Aussie slang, like me. Check out this site. The racial slurs used in the quote above: skip = white Australian, wog = Mediterranean person.)
This certainly ain't "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."
The best bildungsroman movie I've seen in awhile.
Trailer:
I liked this review on IMDB by mattydee74 (Sydney):
Head On is an amazing film. Its beauty and treasures lie in not judging the journey taken in the film but opening up to the experiences of a young man lost and hidden. Its not a bright, gay film but rather a fiery drama which doesn't offer answers but depicts a painful truth which many would prefer to disregard. This is a film about the loss of hope in the jaded nineties.
It is very much a local film (shot in Melbourne) and an Australian film, but I think it offers up wider and more general issues.
Few films capture the mood of the 1990s quite like Head On. It is a film embedded with characterisitics which intuitively identify the strangely blank decade that edged up to the 21st century. If the eighties was - though simplistically - regarded as the decade of high paced materialism. The 90s can be seen as a time of conservatism and cautiousness - again too simplistically - which could be regarded as the tired decade. A time imbued with a feeling that everything had already been done. Grunge embodied this, as did the increasing popularity of pastiche and remakes such as the way television shows were more and more the source for films. It was a time where even moreso than in previous decades - the answers and ideas were sort in ready-made forms. Reused, resurrected and exploited. Sarcasm and cynicism became law. Pettiness became more and more common. Many of us were just tired out.
This song was played at the end of "Weekend," an indie UK film, which was pretty subdued but the script was beautifully and intelligently written. It was a very thought provoking film.
The director and writer, Andrew Haigh, wrote this for the synopsis:
"On a Friday night after a drunken house party with his straight mates, Russell heads out to a gay club, alone and on the pull. Just before closing time he picks up Glen but what's expected to be just a one-night stand becomes something else, something special. That weekend, in bars and in bedrooms, getting drunk and taking drugs, telling stories and having sex, the two men get to know each other. It is a brief encounter that will resonate throughout their lives. Weekend is both an honest and unapologetic love story between two guys and a film about the universal struggle for an authentic life in all its forms. It is about the search for identity and the importance of making a passionate commitment to your life."
I liked this review posted about it on IMDB by brocksilvey:
"In "Weekend," a beautifully acted and written indie drama from writer/director, Andrew Haigh, two gay men fall heavily for each other over the course of a 2 or 3 day period, each getting at something in the other that no one before had managed to do. But this is not a "gay" movie, and people who stay away from it because they think it has a gay agenda, or that it has nothing to say to them, or who are simply uncomfortable with the sight of two men having sex, will deny themselves the pleasure of seeing a film with a universal message about what it's like to be lonely and the search for meaningful human connections that kind of loneliness motivates.
It's not that Haigh avoids addressing the complications of being gay in the present day. Part of what I admired about the film was that it put being gay, and the constant energy it takes on the part of gay men to either fight or ignore the ignorance and hostility they must constantly endure, in a context that anybody can understand. The film's central character, Russell (Tom Cullen), has been raised as a foster child in a "straight" environment. His foster brother knows he's gay and is accepting of it, but even at that, Russell's time with his brother and his brother's family only accentuates the desolate fact that the kind of "normal" happiness his brother enjoys (the solidarity of a strong marriage, children) is something that at best he will have to fight for or at worst will be denied altogether. The bitterness this harsh reality can create in gay men is illustrated in the character of Glen (Chris New), a crusader who believes happiness in marriage is a sham perpetrated by the straight community and that attempts at finding contentment and satisfaction in a life partner are akin to tilting at windmills.
Cullen and New deliver award-worthy performances, so it's a shame that this film's size and subject matter will deny it any kind of major awards attention. The film is actually breathtaking at moments, albeit in an unassuming way, in its frankness and its ability to capture perfectly in words ideas about the way our societies treat relationships, commitments and love that I had only half articulated to myself. It would be easy to believe that Haigh found two non-actors roaming the streets, asked them to star in a movie, gave them situations to play out without a script, and filmed the results. It's that authentic."
I like this YT video more, but the embedding is disabled. It has both the Espanol and English lyrics provided and it has scenes from "Mulholland Drive" (video above) as well as the end of season 3's "Prison Break."
Brannigan and Greg's Going Away Party happened last night in Dallas near SMU. I didn't bring a proper camera so my old mobile took a bunch of blurry photos.
Here's two videos that came out rather well though.
Brannigan doing her thing solo:
Brannigan and Greg (partners) getting intimate with fire and each other:
Stay tuned for video footage of yours truly fire spinning for the first time!
Totally unexpected...and I'll have the proof when my friend, Matt, sends me his camera phone footage. He has the new Samsung Galaxy smartphone and from what I saw, it was the clearer video out of the two.
This is Brannigan's own Youtube channel, zappify 17. Check it out!
I normally find Vlogs to be boring but this one cracked me up. (Highlights for me: the epic sneeze @ 2:00, the ghetto single mom impression, and the hilarious K-pop dance at the end).
I don't normally likes these types of videos (required viewing for my defensive driving online course for my speeding ticket), but right as I was zoning out, the victim's dad started to speak about his son (scroll to 1:30) and I found it incredibly moving.
You didn't get shortchanged by death. You got swallowed up by life.
After a touching introduction about his protege, Dia Frampton...Blake gets pranked by the production manager.
Blake: "It looked like he might have had...wood in that dress. It's gross. Start it over, please! I don't ever wanna think about that song in this way again...ugh."
So I just finished watching the last 2 episodes of Season 1 of "The Voice" and contestant, Dia Frampton has officially captured my heart. The genuine, touching father-daughter relationship between country music star, Blake Shelton, and aspiring singer, Dia Frampton really moved me. He seemed sincerely invested in her success on the show and off.
Clearly, Dia was grateful as well as she wrote this song to be sung with her mentor, "I Will."
In regards to the song, she wrote:
Where to begin with this song? I got to record this with Blake Shelton in Nashville. Watching him cut vocals and sing lines I had written brought tears to my eyes. (I'm a cheeseball. Sorry.) This song is the ultimate friendship song. I feel like I could hear it on any of my favorite Disney movies, and I kind of love that. I wouldn't be where I am today without the help of Blake. Whenever I sing this song I just feel so grateful and so lucky.
Off the show, Dia sings with her sister in a band called "Meg and Dia." Since her sister and her are both half-Korean and half-Dutch, they sang this live English rendition "Lonely" by the Korean band, 2NE1.
One of my favorite songs by Meg & Dia is their amateur cover of Kid Culi's "The Pursuit of Happiness."
One of my favorite songs by Dia (live performance w/ Kid Cudi):
Arthur Boorman was a disabled veteran, who was told by doctors that he would never be able to walk without aid again. He started to do yoga and proved the naysayers wrong.
Here's a lovely excerpt, from The Talk: Nonblack Version:
"(11) The mean intelligence of blacks is much lower than for whites. The least intelligent ten percent of whites have IQs below 81; forty percent of blacks have IQs that low. Only one black in six is more intelligent than the average white; five whites out of six are more intelligent than the average black. These differences show in every test of general cognitive ability that anyone, of any race or nationality, has yet been able to devise. They are reflected in countless everyday situations. “Life is an IQ test.”
(12) There is a magnifying effect here, too, caused by affirmative action. In a pure meritocracy there would be very low proportions of blacks in cognitively demanding jobs. Because of affirmative action, the proportions are higher. In government work, they are very high. Thus, in those encounters with strangers that involve cognitive engagement, ceteris paribus the black stranger will be less intelligent than the white. In such encounters, therefore—for example, at a government office—you will, on average, be dealt with more competently by a white than by a black. If that hostility-based magnifying effect (paragraph 8) is also in play, you will be dealt with more politely, too. “The DMV lady“ is a statistical truth, not a myth.
(
13) In that pool of forty million, there are nonetheless many intelligent and well-socialized blacks. (I’ll use IWSB as an ad hoc abbreviation.) You should consciously seek opportunities to make friends with IWSBs. In addition to the ordinary pleasures of friendship, you will gain an amulet against potentially career-destroying accusations of prejudice.
(14) Be aware, however, that there is an issue of supply and demand here. Demand comes from organizations and businesses keen to display racial propriety by employing IWSBs, especially in positions at the interface with the general public—corporate sales reps, TV news presenters, press officers for government agencies, etc.—with corresponding depletion in less visible positions. There is also strong private demand from middle- and upper-class whites for personal bonds with IWSBs, for reasons given in the previous paragraph and also (next paragraph) as status markers.
(15) Unfortunately the demand is greater than the supply, so IWSBs are something of a luxury good, like antique furniture or corporate jets: boasted of by upper-class whites and wealthy organizations, coveted by the less prosperous. To be an IWSB in present-day US society is a height of felicity rarely before attained by any group of human beings in history. Try to curb your envy: it will be taken as prejudice (see paragraph 13).
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
You don’t have to follow my version of the talk point for point; but if you are white or Asian and have kids, you owe it to them to give them some version of the talk. It will save them a lot of time and trouble spent figuring things out for themselves. It may save their lives."
-John Derbyshire
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P.S.: For those that don't understand blatant sarcasm, I am in no way endorsing or agreeing with this author. However, his forthrightness and the fact that he has no qualms about publishing such material for the world to read just shows how many sectors of white society still do not understand the plight of minorities. The fact that he didn't even bother to use a pseudonym and doesn't fear retribution also shows how insulated the upper crust of society is from the rest of the social strata. This is the sad state of race relations in 21st century America.
I saw Capt. Charles Moore in the documentary, "Plastic Planet."
Since plastic is not biodegradable, it just accumulates and breaks down into smaller pieces and invades our food system. Tiny fish eat the plastic particles thinking they are plankton and then larger fish eat the contaminated fish, and then eventually we eat the fish (or we consume their oil in omega-3 supplements thinking it's good for us).
Gulping down fish oil? Like Moore says in the video, there is no such thing as "certified organic, wild caught fish" anymore, since a layer of plastic covers this Earth. There's no way to get the plastic out of the water (it lies just below the surface, since it sinks) but we can limit it's production. Bring your own bag to the grocery store; opt for paper instead. Why in the world is there so much plastic packaging on top of brand new products? Apple, why don't you start by not adding so much extraneous plastic packing?
Also, it would be nice if more packaging companies used "Bioplastic" or "Bio-packaging." I have even drunk from cups that were made from corn instead of paper or polystyrene or styrofoam.
A few years ago plastic particles outnumbered zooplankton in the oceans 6:1, now the ratio is 60:1.
I went to the doc's office this morning for a follow-up and got my bandages and splint taken off for the first time since the surgery! Don't worry I got new bandages put on again and a hard splint on the bottom to maintain plantar flexion.
(Turns out the doc is going to recycle this for the hard cast...I found that rather distasteful but then he assured me just the cast part in the back, not all the soiled, bloody bandages as well.)
Soiled Dressings
It was pretty gnarly looking. I had no clue there were friggin' staples in me haha.
My cell phone doesn't have flash and Samantha has an iPhone 4s so she offered to take some photos and send them to me as e-mail attachments but I decided to go with my own photos after all. They are more close-up and you can see more details like that weird blood pustule and the weird black grooves.
Also, there's an odd growth at the bottom of my foot that was never there before (see that bright white spot on my sole?). The surgeon said it was probably just a "maceration" (maybe he meant laceration?) but later said it's probably a tumor. I said I'll cut that out myself and he said he would watch.
Metal Gear in Me
He said I would get a cast put on, on Tuesday since the staples aren't ready to come out yet. He said if he tried yanking them out today they would "hiss" and "squirt"— nasty!
New Ace Bandage
The doc said, "Don't worry. I'll make it all pretty again for the ladies. I could see the stress in your eyes." What a joker.
I asked him if it would be OK for me to return to classes next week and he said, "I want you to. We can cure everything but stupidity. Have you heard that before?"
He also told me that since I waited so long to have surgery, the gap has widened considerably so instead of using 2-4 strands, he needed to use 6. I asked him about the suturing and he said it's super strong sutures. He said those 6 sutures are strong enough to support my whole body if they were hanging from them upside down.
Surgical Staples vs. Sutures
I forgot to ask why staples were used to close the wound instead of sutures though my mom said that black stuff ARE the sutures so she said both were used, only since it was such a large wound both sutures and staples were required.
I'm not so sure but this eHow Health article explains it pretty well. (Note to self: also ask the doc to check my left Achilles because it's been feeling odd. I hope it's not tendonitis.)
I read a study that said in stapling led to 4x the number of infections versus traditional suturing but since I obviously have staples in, I'm going to ignore that study and not post the link. Ignorance is bliss. Anyways, there are plenty of other studies out there that say they are comparatively the same, the only difference being cosmetic (staples leave more scars, but scars are sexy so who cares?).
A preview of what's going to happen to me next week:
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The Nitty Gritty
I found some more interesting videos to post.
This one is just a general video on how one ruptures their achilles tendon or if it's just tendonitis (check this out, B-money!).
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This other one talks about the Krakow suturing technique for connecting the two ends of the ruptured tendon. It's a very detailed and informative video. The best one I've seen so far. (FYI: some graphic still images show up after 2 minutes though.)
David Beckham's Ruptured Achilles Tendon (2010)
After seeing that video, I looked it up and apparently soccer star, David Beckham, ruptured his Achilles tendon in 2010; I don't follow soccer/football so I never knew. Read about it here.
After 2 years, David Beckham I guess is still not all healed though and he never went to the World Cup because of it. Now he's doing Bikram yoga to heal his Achilles. Sigh ... I tried to find an article stating that the soccer star was now all healed but even after 2 years, I couldn't find any. Oh well, I'm a lot younger than him...
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"Plastic Planet"
I know this has nothing to do with my achilles surgery at all, but I also wanted to write a review on a brilliant documentary I started (but didn't finish) last night called "Plastic Planet." It's fascinating and scary how much a completely synthetic product has come to dominate our planet, from clothing, chemicals, fuel, to even cosmetics and food additives.
They assured everyone that plastic is a completely inert material that will not invade the food system but in fact, it has. Fish eat tiny bits of plastic that has broken down from sunlight exposure and the churning of the seas. Cattle and livestock eat petroleum-derived, pesticide-laced grain feed. Even our processed foods are all packaged in various plastic materials and even preserved and colored with petroleum-derived preservatives, food colorings, and other additives. We are assured it's all safe, but we now know (after all the BPA, pthalates, parabens, plasticizers, etc. media blitz) that it's endocrine-disrupting and carcinogenic.
I believe it's a German documentary so I couldn't find the interview I was after with the scientist, Klaus Rhomberg. He talked about how a single PVC diaper takes 200 years to breakdown to its component petroleum materials.
Anyways, for those that comprehend German, enjoy (I didn't see this clip in the documentary (it's probably part of the deleted or extras from the DVD, so I have no clue what he's talking about, can someone translate?):
I tried to read about phosphorous ylides and Wettig reactions but basically zoned out. I finished reading Ch. 19 but I just couldn't seem to focus. I tried to finish the OWL homework online today too but only managed to get through carboxylic acid nomenclature and a tutorial on the Wettig reaction. Sigh.
"Dr. Bronner's Magic Soapbox"
I also watched this rather quirky but illuminating documentary ("Dr. Bronner's Magic Soapbox") on the late Dr. Emmanuel Bronner, the creator of those Dr. Bronner's Magic Soaps. You know the peppermint soaps with the crazy labels: "All One! All One! All One!"
It was quite entertaining. The man escaped the Nazis from Germany only to be locked into a mental asylum in the U.S. and put there by his own sister! He escapes to California where he sunbathes in the nude and preaches about "uniting Spaceship Earth" while selling his castille soap. Brilliant.
One disturbing fact, was about how Dr. Bronner actually favored his youngest son who appeared to be Aryan since he had blonde hair and blue eyes. He neglected his older son, Ralph, who took after himself and "looked Jewish" with dark brown hair and thick glasses (Dr. Bronner was legally blind). Dr. Bronner developed a complex over his Jewish heritage in Germany. When he tried to play with the neighborhood kids a group of them took a pail of piss and threw it at him and called him a "Jude (Jew)!" In his labels and in his preaching, clearly the Jewish faith remains a strong part of his identity but in his unbalanced treatment of his children, it's also clear that deep down in his subconscious he bore a self-hatred for his Jewish heritage.
So it's ironic, that Jim (the favored Aryan child) grew up to completely dimiss his father's teaching as insane ramblings and it was Ralph, who has gone on to carry his father's legacy and spread not only the message of the Castille soap but also his father's message of unity and faith.
Dr. Bronner lost both of his parents to concentration camps and his sister thinks that trauma destabilized his psyche. Dr. Bronner referred to his stint at the Elgin Mental Asylum as a concentration camp where he was forced to "mix cement like a slave" (the mental patients were forced to do labour as it was believed to help aid in their treatment). He also had undergone shock therapy there.
The Groovy 60s
Apparently, during this time in the 60s, Dr. Bronner was a contemporary of Paul Bragg (the apple cider guy), so the heath movement was strong, especially on the West Coast. It was said that Dr. Bronner was embraced by the counterculture, which is ironic since Dr. Bronner had this paranoia that the commies were out to get him. He even called the FBI numerous times claiming that the communists were poisoning the public water supply with sodium fluoride. (There are only a few American cities that have refused fluoridation of tap water, off the top of my head Ashland and Portland, OR have always refused fluoridation due to its toxic effects.)
One would think that Dr. Bronner would be more concerned about right-wing fascists due to his experience in Nazi Germany, who knows.
More Netflix Streaming
OK so I got carried away with my synopsis of an interesting documentary... It's on Netflix streaming for those interested. I've been watching a lot of Netflix lately.
I'd recommend "Tucker & Dale vs. Evil;" it's about these rednecks in West Virginia fighting off stupid preppy college kids. "Phase 7" is another quirky, funny horror movie (It's Argentinian). Oh and I actually liked "Quarantine 2" and unlike the first one,"Quarantine" being a complete rip-off of the original Spanish movie, "[Rec]," "Quarantine 2" is completely different from "[Rec]2" and I think it's even better.
Tucker & Dale vs. Evil was hilarious. I love horror/comedies.
"They hate my face!" LOL!
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Perspective
Day 12:
Now about my recovery. Laying in bed all day has given me some lumbar back problems that I hope will go away once I start moving about some more. At least I don't have to worry about bed sores developing.
My mom gave me some perspective too. She said back when she broke her collar bone, she was forced to wear a torso cast and in the summer it was so sweltering and humid that it got itchy and she developed boils underneath the cast. It also didn't heal properly because she was still made to do household chores like sweep the floor etc.
I also found out that my CrossFit coach was in an awful car crash, where his car had to be cut into and then he was medi-flighted out to a hospital. He had two brain bleeds and was not breathing on his own. Then just today his wife said on Facebook that he has opened his eyes and even breathed for awhile without the machine. The marvels of modern medicine.
So yes, I'm extremely lucky to have a brain that is functioning (more or less), a heart that beats, and lungs that work on their own.
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Surgical Footage (for the "Nip/Tuck" Fans Out There)
I've gotten to the point where I can now look at images and videos of the surgical operation that I underwent on Friday without getting too squeamish. Perhaps, it's just morbid curiosity but I'd like to know exactly how I was repaired.
Part of me wants to give up Naturopathic Medicine and become an orthopedic surgeon now...especially since graduate students and professional students can no longer apply for subsidized loans I might as well be learning something that can truly help someone, right? I don't know. I was so sure about becoming an ND after India but now I'm not so sure...
This is a cool video showing the surgical repair using a "burrito technique," where the orthopedic surgeon places a graft jacket over the sewn tendon.
This, on the other hand, is just a really bizarre video since it has upbeat Flamenco music playing to a more seemingly gruesome repair of the torn achilles.
1) Fremdschämen - A German term which describes the process of being vicariously embarrassed by someone else. For example when somebody's concept for a great party gag goes terribly wrong and you watch him fail in front of all of his friends.
e.g., Tom was completely wasted while he held the speech on Mike's wedding party. Fremdschämen in perfection.
(From urbandictionary)
(I often feel this in the U.S., usually when watching Fox News.)
2) Schadenfreude - (Epicaricacy) Literally meaning "damage joy."
Malicious enjoyment derived from observing someone else's misfortune. (From wiktionary)
(I don't think I can say I've ever felt this way.)
I'm one of those statistics you hear about on the news made real. I had health insurance just last year and I will have health insurance again in September but as of now I am uninsured. Lo and behold, I get a debilitating injury on the one gap year that I am uninsured.
What Did You Do?
Completely Ruptured Achilles Tendon (Right).
Long story short – plyometrics; specifically, from doing high-rep box jumps while participating in WOD 12.3 of the CrossFit Games Open Qualifiers (2012).
Now just mentioning those 2 syllables either brings confusion or causes an inadvertent gut reaction to defend the exercise regimen. I completely understand both sides since I've been doing it for around 3-4 months (known about it for 6 months or more) but still remember the days when I was skeptical of exercise/training as a competitive sport.
I'm not here to criticize or defend the protocol. I just want to want to be back on my two feet again!
4 Days After Acute Injury
The Issue:
It's been nearly 3 weeks since my acute injury and I haven't taken care of it yet. Why? I was told initially that it was a sprain. After seeing an orthopedic surgeon 2 days ago and describing classic textbook symptoms of feeling a sharp pain in the back of my heel/calf during the injury and then having a positive test for the Thompson test, the doc said—without a doubt and without an MRI—that it is indeed a completely ruptured achilles tendon that requires immediate surgery.
So I don't have time to apply for Indigent Health Services at Collin County Health Dept. (though I'm still going to give it a shot on Monday), which takes a minimum of 2 weeks. I don't know if I would qualify for that in any case as there are many, who are probably much worse off than me waiting in line.
Why Do You Deserve My Hard-Earned Money?!
I'm only 26 and I can't foresee a life ahead of me without sport or intense activity. Try and think back to a time you've been down and out and wanted some support. If I don't get the surgery, I'm told a re-rupture of the achilles is a constant and apparent threat.
I believe Karma is real. What comes around goes around.
When I'm a head honcho, calling the shots I won't forget ya, brotha/sista!
The Breakdown (Give me the Dadgum Numbers! How Do I Know You Won't Pocket This Yourself?!):
The surgeon is taking a measly $667.60. The anesthesiologist is pocketing approximately $300. The lion's share of the total amount comes down to the hospital fees (originally $9300 with a 30% discount) $6,550. So around $7,500 total. I will know an exact amount on Monday when the receptionist tells me the anesthesiologist fees.
On the off chance that this fundraising event is wildly successful and it went over the cost of the surgery, then I will gladly pay each of you back in CASH, in person! I will even upload a photo of the surgery receipt on this website when it's all said and done. I'm all for transparency and frankness.
The orthopedic surgeon will be John T. Wey, M.D. from L & W Orthopaedic Associates and he had a fellowship trained in foot and ankle surgery, which is why I would like to have the surgery done at this place (Methodist Richardson Medical Center).
I have yet to schedule the surgery as my father would like me to explore more affordable options but I would like to get this done hopefully as soon as next week. I will post an update with more details as I get them.
Why Don't You Get Help From Official Charities or Companies? I'm Poor, Yo!
I've tried. I reached out to some Catholic Charities and are waiting for their response. I think a measly achilles tendon surgery isn't even a blip on their radar. They want the sad childhood leukemia child with the shiny, bald head. All I can do is hobble around and look pathetic (or in my book, totally badass pimp limp). No one would even bat an eye.
Oh yeah and a good friend of mine told me it would be great if I could get CrossFit HQ to match the amount that is raised from this fundraising effort, especially since there have been a large number of injuries related to Open WODs both last year and this year involving high-rep box jumps and I believe I could raise awareness in the risks of these injuries. (If you are interested in this, you can read a (controversial) article by Beast Modal Domains here. I won't delve into that here. Beware, it's a hilarious article but it's got some language.)
I would hope that CrossFit HQ would want to make a strong effort to show they want to prevent future injuries in the sport and to shed the negative media attention surrounding the controversy over its safety.
I am planning on writing a letter seeking assistance from HQ but if anyone has any connections with HQ that would be of great help.
OK STFU Already! How Can I Help?!
See that "DONATE" button at the top right? 0_0 ---------------------->
*Click* on that and you can donate any amount you want to a PayPal account. No one will know how much you donated, so don't be shy. No one will judge. Any amount is a worthy contribution. St. Peter at the pearly gates will cross out that little menial sin you committed last week for your generosity.
(FYI: PayPal deducts $0.30 + 2.8% for every transaction that is made for their service.)
Go To Hell! Everyone Needs "Assistance" in This Economy! Where's My Charity?
If you don't want to help and think I'm an ingrate, that's fine. Just know that angels will cry and doves will fall from the sky in mourning.
J/k. Jesus and I still love you. =)
Was There Something I Didn't Address? Have More Questions?
Shoot them in the comments below or send an e-mail.
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My favorite scene from this TVseries, which I was very skeptical of at first and only decided to give a try because I'm temporarily handicapped and was really bored over Spring Break being cooped up at home...
I haven't listened to this band in years. I heard an old song playing on the radio the other day and remembered all the other less famous songs by them that I loved so much back in undergrad. This is one of them.
I've been so agitated lately and this song just puts me in such a calm and collected mood. SIGHHH... =)
I hate to admit it but I discovered this great song from watching "Gossip Girl," specifically this scene from the end of the the episode, "The Princess Dowry." Even though I feel badly for Serena, this scene just makes me smile. =)
I'm in dire need of some inspiration so I decided to do a post on one of my all-time favorite individuals that ever graced this planet with his presence, Bruce Lee.
(*FYI: I do NOT own the copyright to any of these images or videos, I just appreciated the power of images over words. I have posted the URL links to the original sources were I procured the images below the photos in a caption. If you would like for me to remove your image, please e-mail me and I will do so as promptly as possible.)
Bruce Lee — the icon, the fighter, the lover, the family man, the teacher, the philosopher:
Absorb what is useful, Discard what is not, Add what is uniquely your own.
Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.
Simplicity is the last step of art.
A teacher is never a giver of truth - he is a guide, a pointer to the truth that each student must find for himself. A good teacher is merely a catalyst.
When an opportunity in a fight presents itself, "I" don't hit, "it" hits all by itself.
The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.
A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.
Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.
A goal is not always meant to be reached; it often serves simply as something to aim at.
There's no challenge in breaking a board. Boards don't hit back.
Don't think, feel! It is like a finger pointing a way to the moon. Don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.
To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person. If you want to understand the truth in martial arts, to see any opponent clearly, you must throw away the notion of styles or schools, prejudices, likes and dislikes, and so forth. Then, your mind will cease all conflict and come to rest. In this silence, you will see totally and freshly.
(While the credit goes to Bruce Lee, of course, these quotes were compiled by an individual posting on this forum.)
Chuck Norris gets his ass kicked from here to Timbuktu:
"Be Water, My Friend:"
Question: What are your thoughts when facing an opponent?
Bruce: There is no opponent.
Question: Why is that?
Bruce: Because the word ''l'' does not exist.
A good fight should be like a small play...but played seriously. When the opponent expands, l contract. When he contracts, l expand. And when there is an opportunity... l do not hit...it hits all by itself (shows his fist).
Any technique, however worthy and desirable, becomes a disease when the mind is obsessed with it.
Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.
Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.
(The previous B. Lee quotes were transcribed from this site.)
Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.
Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.
Never waste energy on worries or negative thoughts, all problems are brought into existence -drop them.
Not many people are willing to give failure a second opportunity. They fail once and it's all over. The bitter pill of failure is often more than most people can handle. if you're willing to accept failure adn learn from it, if you're willing to consider failure as a blessing in disguise and bounce back, you've got the potential of harnessing one of the most powerful success forces.
Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."
(FYI: This is all true but since I still work here, the location and all names have been changed.)
So I thought being surrounded by rednecks was fun until tonight...
I realized this when I jokingly told someone I knew from before that just like in the new movie, "Iron Sky," it would be cool if Palin were actually president! He said, "Really?!" (Redneck influence?)
It gets worse...I found myself laughing at a drawing of a guy in a truck pulling a black man in chains behind him! Oh and for some reason the black victim had his hands chopped off...The artist later added the caption to the drawing "I EAT HANDS!" and kindly wrote in MY name below the caption.
Later, these lifeguards took turns asking each other how they would react in this hypothetical scenario:
There's a blind girl, a girl w/ no arm, and a black girl...which one do you murder, fuck, and marry? Oh and Tobey made sure to add that all the disabled people are white, of course. (Replace girl with guy, depending on who was being asked.)
EVERYONE said they would kill the black man/girl except for the head guard, who asked if the black guy was hot or not... 0_0
When they asked me I said I would NOT kill the black girl...they were like everyone would kill the black one! Don't lie!
Tobey's exact answer was: "Kill the black girl, fuck the one-armed chick, and marry the blind one. I can lock the blind one in a closet or cellar and she won't know the difference because she's blind!"
Then they decided to make this scenario a little more challenging and changed it up and said OK the black girl/guy is only half black, now what? One of the lifeguards said, "Boil her, skin her, and eat her!" 0_o Keep in mind this lifeguard is from a small Texan town, where he customarily sets traps and hunts critters (skins them and eats them).
One of the college-educated white female lifeguards was creative. She said, "KILL THEM ALLL!"
Another was even more so and said she would rather shoot herself than marry a black guy.
(FYI: there is ONE black lifeguard that works at this pool. I told them all but they said it's not true, that they have never seen a black person working there. Perhaps, he quit from all the racism...can't blame him.)
No race was spared though.
Sam told me that he went to an Indian restaurant and they suggested the lamb dish and told him that they slaughter live goats out back. Sam thought they were joking but when he was leaving and drove around back he saw a pile of lamb carcasses! (Sam also though Indian and Israeli were the same thing before...)
Even my friend, Jeremy, who I don't think is racist, told me that Indians are covered in a "sweaty, sticky slime" and that he touched an Indian child once by accident and his hand was covered in the slime. He said he can smell them whenever they come to the pool.
Jeremy shared an anecdote once with all the other lifeguards: he blew his whistle at an Asian lady and that she was squinting at him and "pretending that she couldn't see him through her Asian eyes." Uhhh... and then he imitated her saying ,"I can't see you..." (This was all done in a really poor attempt at a Asian accent).
He said he shouted back at her, "I know you can see me!"
WTF?
Oh yeah and Gavin told me that the solution to America's problems is to "nuke China."
"America's conversation about race has been mostly black and white. An amazing Knicks point guard changed that."
"My first thought on seeing Jeremy Lin was that he reminded me of my cousins. Like many, I felt like I knew him. He’s a kind of kid I’ve seen my whole life — funny, smart, quick and brave. And Asian American. When I heard he was a Harvard grad, I thought: Of course, the first Asian American NBA superstar also had to go to Harvard and get better than a 3.0. And then: Way to raise the stakes on the Asian American overachiever. It’s still true that whatever color you are in America, if you’re not white you have to be twice as good to get half as far. But the Jeremy Lin paradox is that this champion — this skinny kid just out of college, this overlooked smiling Taiwanese American kid with, as we say, ‘the good Asian hair’ that is thick and stands straight up — he is making room for the rest of us. Part of the Jeremy Lin moment is America looking at an Asian American and realizing he’s just an American, too.
The great irony to his moment is that Jeremy Lin as a national figure is so much better than anyone I might have dreamed up as a possible solution to a problem with a body count: Asian Americans are currently the No. 1 most bullied demographic in America. The same invisibility that kept Jeremy Lin outside the “frame of reference” of coaches also kept the two different units who hounded Cpl. Harry Lew and Pvt. Danny Chen to suicide last year with constant racist taunts and physical abuse from realizing they were well outside the limits of respectful internal military discipline."
Naya Rivera is a beautiful and talented singer and actress. I'm glad that they are finally giving her more solo and air time on the show.
OK at some parts (not the Espanol parts of course) he sounds uncannily like Enrique Iglesias!
This is just awesome. This song is so ridiculous but so addicting. (I didn't realize it until I read some YT comments but Ricky Martin really DOES look like Johnny Bravo here haha! It's the bouffant.)
Happiness, that grand mistress of the ceremonies in the dance of life,
impels us through all its mazes and meandering, but leads none of us by
the same route.
-Charles Caleb Colton
"Therefore, since there is no One Way to find happiness, why not find it the way that appeals most to you? Why not follow your passion --- even if others tell you that you are crazy for trying it?
Is someone telling you that now? Don't listen. Don't listen to that! The voice of caution knows nothing of real joy. What joy is there is doing what there was no doubt you could do? Where's the excitement in that? Hey, try something that you could fail at. Now that's living."
I just finished reading The Four Purposes of Life: Finding Meaning and Direction in a Changing World. I'm continually impressed by his literature as it comes from insight gleaned from hard lessons in his own life.
"Life itself is a near-death experience — ephemeral and brief. One among billions, you go on, loving, serving, grieving, and celebrating, seeking meaning and fulfillment. Every life represents a hero's journey. Every moment counts."
-Dan Millman
I think Rick Perry started a Republican trend in basing campaign ads on FEAR & HATRED...
The music, the fake pidgin Engrish...this would be hilarious if it weren't a serious campaign ad for some Republican politician.
Here's the transcript and more background information.
From the ad, you would think this is supposed to be a Chinese woman in rural China but all the stereotypical cues (Viet Cong cone hat, rice paddy) all point towards Vietnam...odd.
Game of Thrones' (Book II) take on womenfolk (and their plight):
Catelyn Stark: "Is there any creature on earth as unfortunate as an ugly woman?"
Tryion: "A whore learns to see the man, not his garb, or she turns up dead in an alley."
Cersei: "Tears. The woman's weapon, my lady mother used to call them. The man's weapon is a sword. And that tell us all you need to know, doesn't it?"
"Jaime told me once that he only feels truly alive in battle and in bed."
Cersei: "You little fool. Tears are not a woman's only weapon. You've got another one between your legs, and you'd best learn to use it. You'll find men use their swords freely enough. Both kinds of swords."
Cersei: "We were so much alike, I could never understand why they treated us so differently. Jaime learned to fight with sword and lance and mace, while I was taught to smile and sing and please. He was heir to Casterly Rock, while I was to be sold to some stranger like a horse, to be ridden whenever my new owner liked, beaten whenever he liked, and cast aside in time for a younger filly. Jaime's lot was to be glory and power, while mine was birth and moonblood."
"Zee Avi (born Izyan Alirahman, also known as KokoKaina; b. 1985) is a Malaysian singer-songwriter, guitarist, and ukulele player. She was born in Miri, Sarawak, Malaysia. She moved to Kuala Lumpur when she was 12. She studied fashion design at American InterContinental University in London."
(Taken straight from Wikipedia.)
"Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."
"By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do."
"Although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win."
"That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships."
"Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.
I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never
became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a
result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical
details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end.
That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
“Trust your heart if the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backward.”
“I thank you God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes.”
“Love is the voice under all silences, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: the truth more first than sun, more last
than star...”
“We are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph
and death i think is no parenthesis”
“The snow doesn't give a soft white damn whom it touches.”
“The three saddest things are the ill wanting to be well, the poor wanting to be rich, and the constant traveler saying 'anywhere but here'.”
“Since the thing perhaps is to eat flowers and not to be afraid”
“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit”
